Caring for Your Introvert

Atlantic.com: Caring for Your Introvert (HT: Wendy Bailey)

Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?

If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren't caring for him properly. Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured that you are not alone. Introverts may be common, but they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.

I know. My name is Jonathan, and I am an introvert. ...

Most aggrieved? Jonathan goes a little over the top but this is nevertheless a great article. (And BTW, according the Myers-Briggs inventory I'm an INTJ, but only slightly to the introvert side. A counselor once told me I'm more precisely an ambivert. )

Comments

[neil]

I love that "ambivert." I've taken the full MBTI several times in my life and I'm borderline "E," on one occasion I dipped into the "I" category but I'm pretty clearly "NTJ." Perhaps that's why I enjoy your blog!

[Michael Kruse]

I wasn't surprised to see your NTJness reflected in your results. One thing I have grinned about at your blog occasionally is your posts on running. INTJs in particular are notorious for endlessly raising the bar on performance. “What I do this time has to be at least one notch better then I did last time or I failed.” :) Work is work and play is work. It is all about gaining competencies. It took me years of counseling to get past this perfectionism and I thought I arrived. Now I find myself trying to one notch less perfectionist than I was last time. :)

I love your blog as well. You raise lots of issues that push us to rethink life strategies.